Gates

I am in a place of deep remembrance.  It is full of gladness and praise that cannot be put to words; it is in this place my deep longings find a home.  Everything is here, everything that has ever mattered and will ever be is here, only to be walked through, to be sought out and found.  Should my heart ever stop longing for this place, these sacred and wonderful moments, I would be lost. It is here you have called to me and I have lifted my head in answer, where in the landscape of my heart I first saw you.  Walking through meadows covered in ash, wandering a path shrouded in the grey rags of death with a fierce purpose and destiny.  Beside you, I have my place, and walking through this valley of shadows became beautiful.  Beside you, my hands burn with purpose, with life.  Beside you, I have found my identity. Feeling you near me, hearing your voice, these are the memories I will keep, these are the memories that are the flesh of my heart.  For it was in that time, in a place unbeknownst to anyone else, touching ashes with the one I love and watching them spring into life, that I found promise.  It was here you directed my eyes to something more and you broke down my walls to feel, to heal, to rebuild.  It was here that I lost my control and you took it from me, lifted me up, and moved me further still.  It was here that my tears watered soil I could not even see, here you spoke to me and burned yourself into my mind.  It was here you sealed your promises, carved out my aching soul and filled it with your own.   My burdens disappeared and were replaced with a purpose.  Here you showed me kingdom, and in my place of crying out you took my face and asked me, “But isn’t everything still so beautiful?”  And looking into your eyes the only possible answer was, and will always be, yes. 

It is here that I have known you – and you have known me.  And from here I can never wander, I can never forget -- yet I can never return, for it is time, and you call me to a new place. 

It is time.  These are the echoing words of now, the ones I cannot shake.  It is time – and you keep speaking, over and over, etching this into my being.  It is time to go, to move and breathe and run without inhibition into a new world.  There are no pretenses and all of the old is passing.  Doors close behind and new ones open, for it is time.  To take everything that has ever been impressed upon me and move forward without fear into moments I have never seen.  All comfort is gone and the horizon lines beckon to be explored as I gaze upon this place I have always been, this place full of memories and unfathomable love entwined in my heart. I look towards gates I have not yet walked through, and know still that I will bring this place with me and seed it somewhere deep in the sands of a desert  where life will grow, where my tears will water the valleys and you will again take my face and ask me, “But isn’t everything still so beautiful?” And as before, the answer will be yes, only now I bring with my answer the offering of promise, of history, of life, for I have known you and am in a place of deep remembrance, full of praise and gladness that only be expressed in the language of my heart.  That language is yours and with it I move forward, for as you beckon me I answer, I move, and I begin to walk through these gates.  I bring with me this place as I begin to run to you, for it is time.